Anxiety and Depression

Everybody’s anxiety/depression shows itself in different ways. Some people can’t get out of bed. Some people can’t leave their house. Some people are scared of social situations.  Some people have panic attacks. Some people have post traumatic stress disorder from a particularly significant event.

(I am in no way a professional…just have a lot of ideas and thoughts because of my struggle)

My depression manifested in guilt shame and worthlessness. I thought I was junk messed up and had no value.

My depression became the worst it ever was in 2015/early 2016 because of feelings of shame and guilt. I resorted to self-injury (hitting or banging my head) on many occasions because I was so overwhelmed with these racing, shameful,and painful thoughts.

My anxiety shows itself as racing thoughts, pleasing others, a
nd worrying about what others think of me. Social anxiety. Fear of manDifficulty with being assertive. 

For example, As a teacher, I have been scared to assert my thoughts in the classroom when my assistants disagree with me. 

Sometimes I’ve felt like imprisoned in my brain.

Sometimes anxiety and depression seem impossible to overcome.

Some people have prayed for complete healing. The truth is….God doesn’t heal everyone completely in this earthly life. I don’t think he will heal you if you just have enough Faith.

God will heal us completely in heaven …which we have to look forward to :). 

However, God has gifted people as therapists to use specific strategies like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help others move toward healing. God has gifted scientists to create medicines to act on the brain chemicals. God has gifted doctors to help diagnose individuals with different psychiatric disorders.

These people are healers, but are far from the perfect healer our heavenly father is.

I believe in a combination of all of these things.  Medication and therapy have been helpful for me, it just has taken  a while to find the right kind.

Also, affirming God’s word over me has also helped. For example….

When I am feeling …….

fearful of another person….worried what they think of me…. I say….

“The LORD is my light and my salvation– whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life– of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1

My mood has been like a roller coaster in the past without medication. Kinda like Nitro from Six Flags. Extreme highs and extreme lows. Now my mood swings are kinda like a baby roller coaster, less extreme. There still are setbacks, when I’m riding Nitro, but for the most part, I’m glad to be on a baby roller coaster.

Life is a journey, so is the process of healing from anxiety and depression.


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Author:

I am a 27 year old who has difficulties with self worth and anxiety. I am sharing my story on here to encourage other girls that they are not alone and that God can change their life. I love drawing colorful Bible verses, being active (jogging, playing frisbee etc), and playing board games. I have a passion for developing communication skills in children and young adults with developmental disabilities. I am from South Jersey and grew up in a Roman Catholic family. In 2015, I started reading the Bible, knowing the love of God, and became part of a loving church community.

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